Respite
by SiriuslyEmily
Summary: On the day of respite, before visiting Twilight Town, Saix goes home.


This piece was written for the Saix fanzine, so now that it's out, I can post it freely! Enjoy!

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As the sun began to set over Radiant Garden, a figure in black stepped out of a corridor of darkness onto the grass in the shadow of the castle. The darkness dissipated, and the figure looked up at the castle above him, golden eyes bright beneath his hood. After a moment, he pushed the hood back, shaking his hair out to its full length. Saïx glanced around, then set off towards the garden wall, sticking as much as he could to the growing shadows.

The war would commence tomorrow. He hadn't needed to be told, though Xemnas had informed him along with the others that had been part of the Organization's previous iteration. The Guardians had at last assembled, and as soon as Xehanort had realized this, Saïx had felt the old man's determination solidify in his heart as surely as if it were his own. This was the final day before everything changed, one way or another, and Saïx had decided to use this respite to indulge the dull ache that twinged in his chest every time he thought of this world. It was his former home, after all, and he missed it.

A short while ago he would have scoffed at the notion. A heart was needed to miss something like home, or a friend, or an old life. When he had last visited this world to push Sora onto the Organization's desired path, he had looked out at the ruined city and convinced himself he felt nothing at all. Now, though, it was impossible to pretend that the thought of the town, the flowers and the fountains, the towering castle, did not move him. The feelings were faint, uneven, but present enough to lead him here, knowing that it may be his last chance to see this world at all.

It was nearing dusk, the air growing colder as the sun slipped towards the mountains beyond the city. Most of the citizens were in the residential areas, preparing to settle in for the evening after an exhausting day of restoration work. Still, he was careful to stay out of sight. It wouldn't do to be caught by any of the Committee members, or anyone else who might recognize him.

Saïx reached the edge of the garden, and smiled slightly. A gap in the stone provided just enough space to slip through the wall into an alleyway. He and Lea had used this route dozens of times in their efforts to infiltrate the castle. He pushed through the gap to the other side, and headed in the direction of the old fountain court.

His feet carried him along a familiar route he had walked so often that he could do it in his sleep. As the shadows lengthened, he heard the familiar sounds of the town winding down, voices drifting over the rooftops as people made their way home. It felt so familiar, treading this path as the sun set, that he nearly turned a corner instinctively. He stopped himself, and instead continued onward. His old house wouldn't be here anymore, not as he remembered it.

The fountain court was nearly finished, with only a few sections of the outer walls still in disrepair. The jets of water glimmered in the growing twilight, and for a moment he saw Lea grinning down at him from one of the high platforms, soaking wet, his hair plastered to his face. Saïx blinked, and Lea was gone.

He stared up at the platform, and then a little higher, to the top of the city wall. He would be able to see more of the town from up there, though it would be more difficult to stay out of sight. He considered, and then with a wave of his hand, he summoned another dark corridor, and a moment later stepped onto the grey stone of the outer wall.

Half of the city stretched out before him, the other half hidden by the castle. The layout of the town was different than he remembered thanks to the reconstruction, but the sight still made his breath catch in his throat. A few people were visible in the streets below, hurrying home before night fell, but they paid him no mind. Trailing a gloved hand along the stone ledge, he made his way towards the city gate.

Sunlight glinted off the windows of the castle, streaks of orange stretching through the deep violet of the sky out to the mountains at the edge of the world. From this section of the wall, Saix could see signs of new construction outside the city limits. Piles of stone and new piping lay near the main gate, some of the materials arranged in the beginnings of a diamond pattern. It looked as if they were attempting to rebuild the Outer Gardens that had once surrounded the city, though the water the paths had rested on was still drained away, the caverns beyond huge and hollow. He wondered if they would always remain empty. He found himself hoping that they wouldn't.

Saix passed beneath a patched-up cover for one of the aqueducts, the pipes still inert and bent at odd angles, and when he came out the other side he caught sight of someone farther up the path. He stopped short, but quickly recognized the long blonde hair and identical black coat, and continued on.

The sound of Saïx's footsteps drew the other man's attention, and he looked over at him, eyes widening in alarm before recognition sparked within them. Saïx still wasn't quite used to the glint of gold in Vexen's face, finding it even more unsettling than his usual acidic green. Perhaps this was how Lea had felt when Saïx's own eyes had changed.

"Ah," Vexen said, "I had wondered if I would see you here."

Saïx joined him at the railing. "Saying goodbye?"

"In a sense." Vexen looked back up at the castle. "We may not be able to return, after tomorrow."

They stood together watching the sky darken to a deep purple. The square and the parts of the castle town that were visible from up here were finished enough that it felt strange to look over them, as if no time had passed at all. A decade's worth of memory said otherwise, but for a moment he could almost ignore it.

"Have you seen any of them?" Saïx asked.

"No, not one. I imagine they're hard at work, now that Demyx has dropped off our little gift. All we can do now is wait."

"You seem certain they'll complete their task."

"I would trust no one else to do so. They were all apprentices as I was. And as you were. If anyone is capable of restoring Roxas, it would be them."

Saïx only nodded. If the apprentices failed, then that would be it. Vexen was right; all they could do now was wait, and hope the others could finish what they had begun.

"I haven't seen Lea, either," Vexen said after a moment. "Though I imagine you've already looked."

"No, he isn't here."

"He wouldn't want to say goodbye? This is his home too."

"There's somewhere else he'll be."

"I take it you know where." When Saix didn't answer, Vexen huffed quietly and crossed his arms. "You should go to him."

Saïx frowned at him, a little startled at the suggestion from Vexen, of all people. The other man looked quite serious, however, his gaze holding a familiar intensity despite their unusual hue.

"You may not get another chance."

Saïx didn't answer immediately, looking back up at the castle. "You should take your own advice."

"Perhaps." Vexen smiled wryly, but didn't move, his gaze shifting back to the castle too. His gloved hands clenched a little tighter atop the stone railing. "I've been trying to convince myself to go inside for the past hour. I'm afraid I'm too...cowardly." He sighed. "But if I survive this, I will see them again."

"You don't want them to know what you've done?"

"I'm sure Demyx and his Lordship have told them everything. And others knowing is not the point, is it?"

"...I suppose not." There was the distinct possibility that the pair of them would die with very few people knowing what they'd done. That was fine. Recognition was immaterial, so long as they were able to help those they had wronged. "Did you speak with Xion?"

"I informed her of her duties. The final combat tests went very well. She should be more than ready for tomorrow," Vexen said, pride coloring his voice. "And so long as Roxas is able to make it in time, I believe she'll recover her true self again. Though you would be a better judge of what that is more than I."

"And Lea would know better than me," Saïx murmured, though even that wasn't certain. Even if Xion _were _able to recover the rest of her heart, would Lea remember her? Would Roxas? There were so many variables, so many uncertainties that he hadn't had the time to safeguard against. Thorns of anxiety dug into the space beneath his ribs.

"Do you think it will be enough?" he asked suddenly. "All of this-have we done enough?"

When Vexen finally answered, he sounded very tired. "I don't know. Do you think we have?"

Saïx thought of Xion, back in her own body but still not herself, and of Roxas, trapped in Sora's heart until someone could give him a way out. Saïx had done his utmost to make their short existences as miserable as his own. Lea, too, had suffered because of his actions, and while Saïx had been hurt by Lea's apparent abandonment, the guilt remained. He knew they would most likely never forgive him, but he had at least tried to give them a second chance. Perhaps that was penance enough.

"I hope so," he said.

"As do I." Vexen sighed, and finally uncrossed his arms, turning to Saïx."I believe this is goodbye, then, Isa."

Saïx shook his head shortly. "Don't. I haven't earned that name yet."

"Very well. I suppose I'm not yet fit to be called anything but Vexen, either. Farewell then, Saïx. I do hope this is the last time we see each other as we are now." He paused, then added, "Look after Xion. And yourself, too."

"...I will. Goodbye, Vexen."

Vexen nodded, and as he stepped away from the ledge, tendrils of shadow flowed around him until they engulfed him entirely, and then he was gone. Saïx wondered if he had gone into the castle after all, or if he had returned to his lab to wait for whatever was coming for them tomorrow. Saïx knew that he himself had tarried too long; his absence would be noticed soon. Still, there was one more place he needed to go.

With a wave of his hand, he summoned another dark corridor. Saïx took one final look at the castle silhouetted against the darkening sky, at the gardens and the town enclosed by their high stone walls, before turning away. He hoped, as he stepped into the darkness, that the next time he saw his home, it would be through different eyes.


End file.
